Being a mom and a personal finance writer, I enjoy discussing money, even though it’s not always a topic that’s easy to bring up in social situations. In the past, I used to avoid talking about money when hanging out with groups of mom friends. However, I’ve come to realize that those gatherings present the perfect opportunity to broach the sometimes awkward subject.
Through casual conversations with other moms, I’ve discovered some of my best money-saving tips. A passing mention of early camp sign-up discounts led me to significant savings. Learning that my credit card included travel insurance saved me from paying extra for it. And a mom’s warning about mail check fraud prevented me from falling victim to a compromised mailbox.
Talking about money with fellow moms doesn’t have to be uncomfortable. For me, it has been an invaluable opportunity to gather practical tips to enhance my financial knowledge.
If you’re interested in discussing money with other moms but aren’t sure how to start, here are some approaches that have worked well for me:
Be curious and helpful but not nosy
We all have different comfort levels when it comes to discussing money with friends, so it’s essential to respect their boundaries. Asking friends about any good discounts they’ve come across recently can be a more comfortable conversation starter than delving into income or tax-related topics, which can feel more personal.
“Moms nurture each other,” says Maria Bailey, a marketing expert and author of “Marketing to Millennial Moms.” We are often eager to share great deals we’ve found to help each other save money. It’s our way of looking out for one another and saying, “‘Hey, I don’t want you to overspend.'”
If the conversation starts to feel uncomfortable, you can always steer it back to topics you feel more at ease discussing by saying, “Here’s what I’d really like your input on.”
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Seek out moms in-person and online
As moms, our financial priorities often change as our children grow. From budgeting for diapers to affording summer camps, after-school activities, and college, getting advice from moms in similar life stages can offer valuable insights into our current situations.
According to Bailey, “You can connect with women who share common life goals and phases. Moms with young kids will have different financial goals than empty nesters.”
My most fruitful money conversations with other moms often happen when we’re together, waiting for our children at activities or school events. When one person brings up a topic like summer camp costs, others quickly join in with their ideas and suggestions.
I’m also part of several mom-themed Facebook groups where I can easily seek and share advice on money matters with other parents. Text chains with fellow moms have also been a great way to brainstorm about topics like credit card rewards and retail sales. WhatsApp groups, Google groups, and other networks can also serve as platforms for connecting and discussing money.
Talk about the kids
One thing all moms have in common is prioritizing our children, so discussing kids and how we approach money conversations with them can be a safe and engaging topic. I enjoy hearing from other moms about their decisions regarding allowances or responses to children’s expensive requests.
Pamela Horack, a certified financial planner known as “Your Financial Mom,” advises against phrases like, “We can’t afford that.” She suggests focusing on priorities and budgeting instead of conveying a sense of scarcity to children.
I learned this lesson when I told my 10-year-old son that we couldn’t order takeout because we needed to save for college. After that, he worried that every takeout meal would impact his future education negatively. Now, we try to explain budgeting priorities rather than making it a choice between spending or saving, thanks to Horack’s advice.