Welcome to BW’s Smart Money podcast, where we answer your real-world money questions. In this episode: Learn how you could save money by caring less about what other people think and how to weigh the pros and cons of a job offer.
How can you save money by not caring about others’ opinions? How does commute time factor into whether you should take an in-person job? Hosts Sean Pyles and Sara Rathner discuss freeing yourself from the pressures of social validation and adopting smart spending habits to boost your financial well-being. They cover tips on avoiding unnecessary spending influenced by social media influencers, focusing on purchases that truly make you happy, and recognizing the fleeting dopamine rush from new buys. Strategies like choosing unique vintage clothing, a capsule wardrobe, and making thoughtful car-buying decisions are also explored.
Hosts Elizabeth Ayoola and Sara Rathner chat with a listener named Andrew from Miami about his decision to accept a new job that offers a higher salary but comes with a longer commute. They delve into the trade-offs of job changes, impact on work-life balance, and how to align career progression with personal values.
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Episode transcript
This transcript was generated from podcast audio by an AI tool.
Teddy Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” But if you’re not careful, it can also be the thief of your hard-earned money.
In this episode, we’ll help you find ways to save money by simply not giving a hoot about what people think.
Welcome to BW’s Smart Money Podcast. I’m Sean Pyles.
And I’m Sara Rathner. Later in this episode, I am joined by our co-host, Elizabeth Ayoola, to talk with a listener about how they should weigh the pros and cons of accepting a job offer that requires a big lifestyle change. Is a bump in salary necessarily worth it?
But first, we’re going to talk about how you can save money and probably your self-esteem by not caring what people think or comparing yourself to others. If you are a millennial who was bullied into purchasing crew socks because the TikTok youths made you feel bad about your ankle socks, this segment is for you.
So, Sara, I know this idea of not caring what other people think, not basing your self-worth on how you stack up to others, and using it as a way to save money is something that’s been top of mind for you lately, right?
It actually came up in a Slack conversation with a coworker where we joked about having to Google certain Gen Z phrases to find out what they mean. And I remember being 22 in my first full-time job, and coworkers at the time would ask me to define millennial slang, and now I’m the old. It’s kind of freeing not understanding what people are talking about sometimes.
I mean, part of it is the lived experience. You just let time pass, and you become more comfortable just being you. You’ve just been you for a longer period of time, and you accept your flaws. Also, part of it is just buying stuff over the years and then coming to an understanding as to what purchases will bring me greater happiness long-term, and then which won’t. So if something doesn’t matter to me, I don’t follow the trend. A friend of mine who’s a couple of years older than me once told me that the decade of life I’ve just entered is the FU 40s, where you reach this level of peace. You focus on what’s important to you, and the rest just kind of fades away. And you know what? She was right. The second I turned 40, my ability to care just really went down. It might be because I have a toddler and my ability to care is just pretty low.
Yeah. Your priorities have shifted.
Yeah, mostly it’s just about preventing him from falling off of stuff at this point.
That’s a good thing to focus on.
I don’t have time to care about anything else.
So anyway, my point is this: I am going to continue to use the ankle socks I already own and love. Thank you.
And that is your right. Okay. Let’s talk about how people can vanquish the allure of comparison or caring what people think about you and using consumer purchases to prop up the image that you project to the world. I have a few quick tips here.
First, please remember this simple humbling fact: No one thinks about you as much as you think about you. People are not thinking days later about the new outfit that you wore into the office or the vacation pics that you posted on Instagram because they are too busy thinking about their outfits and their photos that they posted on Instagram.
Next, realize that the dopamine bump that you get from a purchase just doesn’t last. It won’t be long before you are hunting for something else to spend money on that makes you feel good.
Combining the facts that spending money on impressing people isn’t the best investment and focusing on things that bring you joy can lead to a more fulfilling use of your budget. This can involve cutting back on unnecessary purchases in areas like fashion and cars, opting for quality and practicality over trends and status symbols. By prioritizing what truly matters to you, you can improve your financial well-being and overall satisfaction in life. It’s like finding the perfect car that aligns with your current stage in life.
Yeah, maybe one day we’ll pass it down to him, and he’ll have a car that’s older than him but still runs well. That would be ideal.
So, Sean, when you bought your car a few years ago, what was your thought process?
I wanted something a little nicer than my old Honda Civic from high school and college. I ended up getting a good deal on a 2016 BMW X1, which I named Bette Midnight after a character from a show I like. It may sound fancy, but I got a great deal and pay less than $350 a month. I do love my car, but sometimes I feel like a jerk when I see other BMW drivers on the road.
Yeah, we all have our moments of being a jerk. It’s important to acknowledge that.
Exactly. When you see yourself reflected in the window of a BMW, it’s a reminder to be humble.
Right. Get a car that makes you happy for the right reasons, not to impress others. Do your research and know your budget before going to a dealership to avoid being pressured into a purchase.
And speaking of not trying to impress others, spending money on expensive things just for social media isn’t a smart move. Enjoy vacations and nice dinners if they bring you joy, but don’t go into debt just to show off.
When traveling, visit places because you genuinely want to explore, not just to check off a box on social media. Cities like Venice deserve more than just a quick visit for a photo op. This raises an important question that people should always ask themselves before making any discretionary purchase: why? Why are you spending money on this item or experience, and what do you hope to gain from it?
Sometimes the answer is simply, “It will bring me happiness,” which is a valid reason. When it comes to saving money, there are easy ways to have enjoyable experiences without breaking the bank. For example, traveling during the off-season can result in cheaper airfare and a more pleasant experience without large crowds.
Ultimately, it’s essential to consider the reasons behind your financial decisions and ensure they align with your goals and values. After the pandemic, many people have found blessings in being able to work from home. Personally, I have been able to focus on getting in shape and spending valuable time with my young children. However, living in Miami presents its own challenges, including high living costs and stressful traffic conditions. Commuting to work can take up to two hours each way, which can be draining both physically and mentally. When considering a job opportunity that required a long commute, I had to weigh the financial benefits against the toll it would take on my health and well-being. Ultimately, I decided that the stress and time spent in traffic were not worth the extra money.
When making decisions like these, it’s important to consider your core values and what matters most to you. For me, flexibility and freedom are key values, which is why I prioritize being able to work from home and have more control over my schedule. Recently, I was presented with another job opportunity that offered a smaller pay increase but a shorter commute and a hybrid work schedule. This role aligns more closely with my values and priorities, as it allows me to balance work with my personal life and interests.
In the end, it’s essential to find a job that not only provides financial stability but also supports your overall well-being and aligns with your values. This way, you can achieve a sense of fulfillment and balance in both your professional and personal life. Even though the new opportunity offers less money, it has made me realize that I value time and travel more than dollars. It’s not just about the money; it’s also about the impact on my family and the quality of life. Sacrificing a bit of convenience for financial goals can be necessary, but having a timeframe to achieve those goals is essential. Long-term considerations, such as growing family needs and future expenses, also play a significant role in decision-making. Finding opportunities for growth within my current job is important, but balancing work demands with personal life is crucial. Company culture and work-life balance are key factors in determining career choices. I am fortunate to be in a workplace that values a Main Street culture. As a manager, I have responsibilities and deadlines to meet, but I appreciate the emphasis on work-life balance and generous PTO policies at my current job. This allows me to maintain a reasonable work schedule and prioritize my personal life.
When considering future job opportunities, especially if they involve a hybrid role, it’s important to factor in any additional tasks that may need to be outsourced due to not being physically present at home. Investing in outsourcing certain tasks can improve quality of life and free up time for other priorities.
It’s essential to frame job decisions in terms of both financial considerations and personal values. Tools like tax calculators can help with the math, but ultimately, the decision should align with your values and priorities. It’s a nuanced process that requires careful consideration.
Ultimately, the decision-making process for job changes should be a balance between financial considerations and personal values. It’s a privilege to have the ability to make choices based on values, and not everyone has that luxury. It’s important to acknowledge this privilege and make decisions that align with your values and priorities.
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This nerdy information is provided for general educational and entertainment purposes only and may not be applicable to your specific situation.
With that being said, stay tuned for more nerdy updates next time… stay nerdy!
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